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Friday, March 5, 2010

The Tale Of The Inaccurate Leprechaun

This happened at work this week.

The customer entered the store wearing a leprechaun hat, but he was far from the size of a leprechaun. He did, however, have a head of red hair beneath the hat. He also wore glasses and had bad teeth.

He approached me and wished me a Happy St. Patrick's Day!
There was a pause as he waited for a return reply. It was not the one he expected.

"... um, it's not St. Patrick's Day. Isn't St. Patrick's Day in, like, two weeks?" I said.

"Oh" he returned with. "Well, it's always St. Patrick's Day somewhere."

Again, a pause.
... what??

"I don't think so" I said. "Maybe in some inter dimensional and parallel universe where time is not a constant."

He smiled. "Very good. Very good. Do you sell wool?"

Overlooking the bizarre and abrupt transition of conversational topic, I referred him to the manchester section where the wool and knitting tools lay awaiting purchase. He acknowledged my response then produced a scarf under construction, knitting needles still embedded, which he was making in the colours of green and white.

"I'm making a Doctor Who scarf!" he said enthusiastically.

Playing along, I said "Aaaaah." My knowledge of Doctor Who is minimal but I'm reasonably sure the Tom Baker incarnation/regeneration of the Doctor he was referring to wore a scarf of other colours than white and green.
He proceeded to tell me that he had found a website which allowed him to recreate the Doctor's scarf accurate to the number of stitches. My thought was 'that sounds impressive. If only you'd gotten the colours correct, you daft man."

Eventually he relented his conversational beartrap placed upon me and moved towards the direction of the section I had seemingly decades ago directed him to.

He stopped and turned. "Do you know what St. Patrick was famous for?"

A wild stab in the dark, recalling the Whacking Day episode of The Simpsons, all I could say was "ridding the snakes?"
The non-leprechaun with the knitting needles smiled and pointed at me. "Yes. That's right. The snakes."

I sighed with relief.

"Although it is a metaphor. I'll let you go with 'snakes'" he continued. "Right. Off to the section of manchester and the wool within."

I sighed a bigger sigh of relief.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dude, where do you work? The Twilight Zone?