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Sunday, March 28, 2010

ChatGames

This post originally appeared on my blog last Monday at TheCompleteFirstSeason.com. Please go over there and read some of the other funny things me and my friends have been writing about almost daily.

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The latest fad in social networking on the interwebs that all the kids and perverts are using appears to be a website called ChatRoulette. I’m not going to explain it to you. Okay, I’ll explain it to you. You go onto the website, webcam enabled, join in with the click of a button, you’re randomly assigned a stranger to chat with/share pictures of/display your genitals to.

I’m not kidding.

I tried it once for the purpose of this blog, first one up… BAM. Manstuff. Ugh. And that’s why it’s called ChatRoulette – because you spin the wheel and take the chance you’re not going to come up red from embarassment.

Anyways, as soon as one person gets bored with that stranger, they click “NEXT”, the virtual wheel spins again and another person is randomly chosen to chat with. An interesting thing if placed in the right hands. Except that it’s on the internet, meaning it’s never going to be in the right hands.

I thought ‘what new internet social networking fads can be drawn from other games?’. Then I thought ‘I wonder if we have any orange juice in the house?’. My mind drifted back to the first question. Here are some hypotheticals.

ChatRussianRoulette – Like ChatRoulette only the chances of seeing a nude man are guaranteed 1 in 6. Dangerous odds. Take your chances.

ChatChess – Video chat site only in black and white.

ChatGuessWho – Like ChatRoulette but with black screens – you never see the person. You have to guess what the other person looks like. Only accessible to users with either blue or brown eyes (facial hair optional).

ChatPoker – Video chat site where the aim is to have something brilliant to type in the chat window then try and guess whether the other person in the chat has something better to type. Long standoffs ensue. Some people wear sunglasses. Ben Affleck frequents the site.

ChatFarmville – Video chat site where you annoy friends of yours on Facebook who don’t give a crap about Farmville.

ChatBlackjack – Video chat site where nobody is over 21. You can chat with multiple people at a time, but once the combined ages of the people your chatting with reaches 21 or more, you’re booted off the site.

ChatMinesweeper – Video chat site where the chance of seeing a naked dude is 10 out of 81 (or 40 out of 256 on ‘intermediate’). Take your chances.

ChatSolitaire – Video chat site where it’s just you. Literally. Just you. Nobody else. There’s a deck of cards if you get bored.

ChatJenga – Video chat site where the longer the chat sessions go on, the more likely the site is to crash.

ChatTwister – Video chat site where you are randomly allocated a person in a colour group to talk to. As it goes on, you have to maintain conversations with four different people without allowing the whole thing to collapse. Where possible, attempt to graze against a platonic female friend. How? How is this possible online? You’ll find a way. It’s Twister.

ChatPopomaticTrouble - Video chat site where people play Pop-O-Matic Trouble on camera and show it to the losers who aren’t there to join in the awesomeness that is Pop-O-Matic Trouble. (It is an awesome game. High five? … yeah.)

ChatCockFighting – Video chat site with two guys showing their genitals to each other. Oh wait. That already exists. It’s called ‘a straight yet perverted guy’s nightmare on ChatRoulette’.

In case you were wondering, yes, we had orange juice.

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