I signed up for Twitter in January and deleted my account ten minutes later after not seeing the point. I then reactivated it in March not knowing why but possibly because it was growing in popularity and I was convinced I'd missed something.
Then I saw the potential of it - I wanted to use it so I could remember the minutae of my life. I'd read Michael Palin's diary and it was a fascinating documentation of the Python years written at the time, so I kinda wanted to do that for myself - quick snippets of my life and thoughts, no matter how pedantic or miniscule they might be. Not particularly caring if anyone read it, I tweeted for me. Ideas, jokes and observations I could use for later material.
Tonight I repeatedly clicked the "more" button at the bottom of my Twitter page until all of my tweets were revealed. I deleted the pointless ones like "going to work" and "off to bed" without any funny twist or comment, and streamlined it.
So these were some of said thoughts and moments recorded on Twitter...
I've signed up to Twitter and I don't know why... (12:22AM Jan 6th from web)
I've restored my Twitter account upon realizing I update Facebook way too much (11:57PM Mar 12th from web)On a crowded train populated by footy fans - all named Terry, Stuart, Sharon or Deb.I'm just waiting now for Twitter to fuck it all up like Facebook did.WHY did the Power Rangers always wear clothes with identical colours to theirRanger outfits if they wanted to keep their identities secret?Doing bad yoyo tricks during rehearsals.There are FOUR posters for the stupid looking Dragonball movie on this bus's windows. Excessive...Gettin my creepy on.Going to start watching Season 4 of The Wire. (10:28PM)Where's McNulty? There's no McNulty. (11:13PM)Oh there he is. (11:17PM)Oh you wacky Asian DVD pirates who think the youth of today won't know Helen Mirren's neckline when they see it...Listening to ABC classic FM through my phone... I feel like I'm in a plant nursery shopping for ferns.Off to see Tom Stoppard's The Real Inspector Hound at UQ. But first ... pants.I wonder if these kids wearing 1991 Broncos jerseys know what "Powers" was...Stabbed a can of V. An unorthodox method of opening a soft drink, I'll admit.I think I've written the first song to feature a reference to drinking panda blood... wow...had an idea for doing a short parody of the wonder years with hitler called "das wunder years."
"und standing zere... in ze darkness ... I realized somezing..."Am I unhappy and depress or just tired? I'll know in the morning... (11:02PM Mar 24th)
Feeling better than last night, was in a dark place... (2:04PM Mar 25th)What in the hell is Michael Jackson singing in Black Or White other than "it don't matter if you're black or white"??mX photo looks awesome!! Page 5.Gerard told me a story about "Two Gay Fishermen Named Walt and Andy". What an awesome title.Jeanne Tripplehorn sounds like a porn name. And yet it's not.
I think I want to see a Matthew McConnaughey movie ... what's wrong with me?OWWWWWWWWW... stepped on a bee!! Fuck you bee! (2:53PM Mar 28th)Ah welcome back, second-to-big toe. (2:38AM Mar 31st)Vitamin Water is stupid.Drunk old man just got on the bus at the local football club. I'm betting he chucks.Family of fatties in front of me at Subway. The mother just stepped out of line and went to KFC.Trying an orange Rockstar energy drink... tastes like one of thoes Golden Circle drinks... except now I can see through time...Gold Coast! Stop hogging all the water!
Savage Garden were shithouse philosophers.I need to open my eyes when I play onstage.This guy is a dead ringer for Mark from Rent. Repressed the urge to publicly address this.Bogan at the train station is determined to expel as much spit and gas fom his body as possible. (1:33PM)
He sounds shocked that his girlfriend would leave if him if he was sent to jail. (1:36PM)Finally remembered to send back faulty Memento DVD. The irony of this overwhelms me.Is it ironic to be afraid to do the chicken dance? Quite appropriate really.Two guys on motorbike are circling each other in the hypermarket parking lot. Oh wait, one has an L on his back ... (9:31AM)
... he must be a member of that infamous Learner Biker Gang that start learner fights in learner airports. (9:32AM)Let's ... Get ... Miserables.Girls on the train keep mistakenly saying "pissed as a mute".Emancipated. Emaciated. Two different words.
Received a Birch Carroll and Coyle email offering to "see Wolverine before anyone else". Huh. Written before the leak, obviously. (11:03AM Apr 9th from web)I want to see Easter Mythbusters. Bearded guy in beret gets crucified, dies, doesn't come back. MYTH BUSTED... SBS gets angry letters.My god there was so much dust in my room. But it WAS low fat though.Is Andrew Hansen the John Cleese equivalent in the Chaser group? The "frightfully witty" one? Andrew Hansen as Q in the next Bond movie...Evacuated by fire alarm. Not sure if it's a drill, because there's a truck. (4:45PM)Yup, it was real, but it's over. A wedding party nearby is incorporating the fire truck into their wedding photos. (4:49PM)The string quartet is told to keep playing, throughout the whole ordeal. Just like the Titanic. (4:50PM)The church band sound like a Filipino Mitch and Mickey.A Jew walks into a bar... ... ... mitzvah.A blonde, an Irishman and a minister walk into a bar and thus reduce the impact of each others' stupid statements to the bartender's question.I'm eating Mongolian Lamb from a Chinese takeway place. Why didn't I just go to a Mongolian takeaway place instead?Turned on radio, first song was the theme from Friends. Accurately predicted I was listening to 97.3Girls on train were loudly discussing boob jobs. It occurs to me that I don't know anyone personally with fake ones... I think...
I wonder how many people instinctively thought of buying a billiard table with their stimulus money.Two guys on the train who look like James Blunt are trying to chat up two jailbait age girls, one of whom looks like a hot Anna Paquin.Dylan Moran made a joke about Croatia on DVD playing in the room. Housekeeping maid pipes up. "That is my country. Hehe."In the cab to the airport. Wanting to scream out goodbye to the landmarks we pass ala the end of Muriel's Wedding. Jac won't let me.I dislike it when people say "build a bridge and get over it". When they say that do they realize that bridges take some time to construct? (5:27PM Apr 26th from web)You need approvals and permits, you need to source materials like concrete and metals, machinery, etc. -- it's a drawn out process. (5:28PM Apr 26th from web)Exploring www.PhobiaList.com - there is no listed "fear of stripes". Interesting.I have mad people skills, you bloody idiot."Cover you fucking mouth when you're coughing, woman on bus." Right, that sounds right, now to actually say it... (12:12PM Apr 29th from mobile web)... she got off before I could say it. (12:13PM)Went to the video shop, rented out the movie 'Jumper'. Took it home, put it on, disc kept skipping. Irony?There was no way that dude was getting a credit card. He was unemployed, picking his bum and didn't realize he had a de facto.Man on street corner selling the Big Issue described it as "finger licking good". I'm not going to eat the magazine, dude.I am the least likely candidate to play Tony Soprano. Whoopi Goldberg would be a more convincing Tony Soprano than me.Separated at birth: WALL-E and Keanu Reeves. Evidence: a love of the word "whoa".So the difference between "Most Oustanding" and "Most Popular" Logies are that Most Outstanding is what the plebs SHOULD have voted for...My God. I want to get drunk at the Logies at some point in my life. What's the easiest way to do so? Reality show contestant?Am going through deleting all of my unnecessary tweets. The irony of me tweeting this is not lost on me. (about 1 hour ago from web)